Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Dancer in the Fire, Ice at the Heart of the Flame's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, November 17th, 2009
1:03 pm	5 fictional characters meme... From toujours_nigel... 1. Comment on this post if you want to. 2. On request, I will give you a letter. 3. Think of 5 fictional characters whose names begin with that letter. 4. Post their names and your comments on these characters in your LJ. I got "G" so here goes... Ghatothkacha: What? You thought I'd let this meme pass without a single Mahabharata reference? Anyway, how can you not like a guy whose name literally means "Pot-Head"? (No, not that kind of pot head... although, we Indians were the first to discover the "recreational" uses of hemp) Grendel: Someone who could easily have been misunderstood. Then again, I think most hero-slaying-monster/demon stories tend to be metaphors for conquest. Glorfindel: Heroic last stands in the middle of a pass? Clearly Middle-Earth hadn't seen the last of him the first time around, and it would have taken more than a pesky little Balrog to keep him away. Gudrun: a.k.a. Kriemhild... Bad luck with husbands, but was a woman who knew how to get revenge. Guinevere: Not sure what to think. I always liked King Arthur, so I was never a fan of Guinevere, especially after she decided to run off with Lancelot, and after reading Mists of Avalon, I really wasn't a fan of her. Then again, I'm not a fan of anyone who decides that they're going to through themselves into a life of religious fundamentalism, and make everyone else around them just as miserable as they are. Just one version of the story though. Current Mood: awake (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 10th, 2009
7:01 pm	New addictions and gruesome updates.... So I discovered this British TV show called Merlin the other day, on YouTube. That, plus Legend of the Seeker, means that my productivity is going to be killed this week. Just killed. And it definitely doesn't hurt that Colin Morgan (who plays Merlin) is thoroughly adorable in an endearingly dorky sort of way, and Bradley James (who plays Arthur) is also thoroughly adorable, but in a more muscle-bound, adventurous, smarmy, occasionally broody prince sort of way. P.S. Legend of the Seeker rocks. I think I'm more than a little bit in love with Cara. So absolutely feral. P.P.S. In my gruesome news for the day, in anatomy lab, we're dissecting the genitals and perineum tomorrow, and my cadaver's male, so needless to say, there's going to be much wincing going on tomorrow. Heck, I watched the video of the dissection (of a dissection performed on another cadaver by the Jedi-Master-of-Dissectors-Who-Is-Known-By-Mere-Mortals-As-Dr.-Zhang) and even I was crossing my legs and wincing. It was particularly gruesome when watched at 1.5 speed. Current Mood: chipper (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 22nd, 2009
12:43 am	The chickens at the end of the tunnel... Exams next week, and I've practically been living at the library. Am overcaffeinated and sleep-deprived, and all I want to do is just crawl home to Mom, eat my fill of her cooking, and just curl up as she tells me a story and then sleep for a week. Make that 2 weeks. What's worse is that apparently I sound like that over the phone, because Mom told me that she wished I were at home so she could take care of all of the non-school-related stuff for me (Didn't realize that I sounded that shattered over the phone, Mom). I've been wondering whether I'm just a masochist for putting myself through this... willingly... again, and again, and again. I know there's a reason for doing this. I genuinely want to be a doctor one day, even if it means living in a hut somewhere and being paid in chickens and vegetables... it's just so hard to see that when you're in the middle of studying hundreds of pages for biochemistry and you don't f*#king CARE about regulation of futile cycles because you feel like you're living a futile cycle. Hrmph. Time to go channel that self-pity into finishing up 2 more biochemistry lectures before I decide to go home for the night and attempt to get some sleep. P.S. Red Bull stopped working. I drank one during lunch today and I freaking yawned... that's right... YAWNED. Somehow, hunting down some Adderall is sounding like a better and better idea. Current Mood: drained (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 17th, 2009
6:40 pm	Random Update... So I just realized that it's probably been weeks since I updated this thing. Life's still going well. I made it onto Social Committee, which means lots of running around planning parties (among other things). Second round of exams coming up the week after next... I'm definitely praying for these. Especially biochemistry. Ugh. Figured out my Halloween costume for Block Party/Halloween... depending on who's asking, I'm either Penthesilea or Xena (depending on whether the person knows who Penthesilea is). I might decide to not do the whole obscure-literary/movie-character thing this time and just stick to Xena, even though the costume isn't technically the right color. Ah well. I feel rather proud of myself for figuring out how to alter it by hand (the first time I've actually altered something myself... even though I could definitely use some practice on hand-stitching things... especially if I want to become a surgeon). Time to go grab dinner and get in as much TV watching time as I can get before my real studying begins. P.S. I would love for some US distributor to buy the rights for Dorian Gray already. I don't know about you, but I need an utterly debauched Ben Barnes in my life. P.P.S. I go to the best med school ever. =D At least, I'm around some of the most awesome people ever. =D Which makes the crazy let's-nearly-kill-ourselves-with-caffeine-and-stress part so much more bearable. P.P.P.S. Happy Deepavali! For those of you who don't know, today also commemmorates the day that Krishna killed Narakasura. According to a Telugu version of the story that I heard, Krishna took Satyabhama along with him on the trip to Pragjyotishapura (Narakasura's city... a.k.a. the-city-of-the-unnecessarily-long-name), because, presumably, they had just been married and he was loathe to part from his bride (I like to think that Satyabhama was game for pretty much anything... as you'll see). Anyway, halfway through the battle, Narakasura manages to knock him out. I know! Our K! The blue boy! Knocked out by the asura who-could-possibly-be-his-son-from-a-previous-incarnation (one version of his parentage is that he is Varaha and Bhumi devi's son... another version has Hiranyaksha as his father, but I like the sheer awkwardness of Varaha being the father... N: "Um... Dad?!?!?!" K: "Oy. How many of you kids are still running around these days?"). Satyabhama gets a bit ticked off, picks up Krishna's weapons, and continues the battle. In fact, she continues it so well, that she is the one who actually defeats (and kills) Naraka. Krishna presumably wakes up after the battle, nursing a concussion, and sees Satyabhama smiling sweetly at him, saying "Aren't you glad you brought me along sweetheart?" Moral of the story? If your husband is going off to fight rakshasas, do try to go along... you'll never know when you might end up being needed (although, in Kaikeyi's case, it sort of backfired on her in the end, didn't it?). Current Mood: busy (Comment on this)
Friday, September 25th, 2009
7:24 pm	An end to the madness... Thank God this week is over. Now I can finally get some decent sleep and do some reasonably fun things. a.k.a. indulge in some crazy amounts of debauchery tonight at Block Party... which is going to be epic. After this week, we all need something absolutely epic. Not haiku... not sonnet... epic. Arjuna doing the drunken splits will have nothing on this. I did surprisingly well, even though I didn't make Honors, but I was just a point or two away from the cutoff, so it most likely won't be that difficult to bring my grades up for the next round of tests. In 4 weeks.... ugh. P.S. toujours_nigel... Excellent slash. =D Current Mood: drained (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, September 19th, 2009
8:17 pm	Perspective... First round of tests start Monday, which means that the past week has been full of sleep deprivation, stress, and far too much caffeine. No joke. I've gone through 2 12-packs of Red Bull this week, and I'm absolutely exhausted. Saying that this is the hardest thing I've ever done doesn't even come close to what I'm feeling right now, but frankly, I just don't have the time for a breakdown, which is what will happen if I let myself stop being rational about it. Aaaaanyway, back to studying.... Current Mood: stressed (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 13th, 2009
9:31 pm	People made of WIN... (Bear with me, this entry is going to seem really incoherent, but I've been sitting here for most of today, pouring Diet Coke and Red Bull down my throat, desperately trying to learn how babies are put together... and all it's done is make me want to never let one of the little parasitic alien buggers grow inside me... ever). Tirade against children aside, have I mentioned lately just how much I love my mother? I called her in the middle of a caffeine-and-stress-induced freakout over Devo (a.k.a. Developmental Anatomy), and we ended up talking about ways that I could make Block Exams seem less intimidating. Of course, things like taking it bit-by-bit and coming up with a plan for each day definitely helps. Coming up with a battle plan, so to speak. In the middle of a conversation about removing fear and how I should treat tests like vyuhas, and if the Pandavas had taken one look at the Kauravas' vyuha on the first day and freaked out, they would have been absolutely useless, and how it's going to be ridiculously painful cramming all of this stuff into my brain but how that pain is like the pain that a sword undergoes when it's being sharpened, Mom drops this beaut of a line: "Just think about it this way, Neeti... you're in the middle of 300 (yes, the movie, yes my mother has seen it, and yes, my mother loved it... of course, she's my mother) and Devo is the Persians. All you need is that sharp sword in one hand and a bottleneck in the path in front of you, and you can just knock them off the cliff whenever you want." I love my mother. If you put her in an ancient fortress somewhere, she'd be that one queen who no one, not even Jarasandha, would mess with. Every time I call her, asking for help, I basically get a 15-minute version of the Gita. She doesn't pontificate or anything like that, she just knows me so well that she can figure out what I need to hear, and what language I need to hear it in, and she'll say it. If I could think of anyone in my life who actually remind me of the blue boy, in all his terror, glory, and sense of humor, it would probably be her... and she's the one person to whom I'm absolutely content to play Arjuna, because there's no way that I'd measure up, and I don't think I'd want to. I'm happy being Arjuna. It makes me more grateful than I can express in words that I was born to her and it occasionally makes me wonder what I must have done in my past life to deserve the opportunities that I have in this one. On that high note, off to finish butchering and throwing Devo-Persians off a cliff! Current Mood: grateful (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 10th, 2009
11:09 pm	Philosophical Study Breaks... I spent most of the evening studying for Biochemistry, so I decided to take a break and watch President Obama's health care address from Wednesday. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, the man's a wonderful orator. No amount of Republican nonverbal-hissyfit-throwing can detract from his presence. No amount of appalling shouts can detract from his dignity. I remember something from the Masters of Rome series by Colleen McCullough, about Caesar... about how his dignitas was the most important thing in his life. Even in death, he tried to cover himself with his toga, so that he could meet his death as nobly as he lived. Obama has that. He isn't a flamboyant demagogue. The man has dignity, and charisma, and all those things which you imagine a head of state should have. On to the meat and potatoes of it... health-care reform. There are plenty of classmates of mine in med school who disagree with it. Naturally, it's going to change the way we do things. It's probably going to affect our wallets. If preventative care was cheaper than a fee-for-service setup, we'd be doing it already. If you're going into medicine because it will assure you a comfortable existence, then I can definitely understand why you would be upset, and I pass no judgments upon you. It would be rather hypocritical of me, since I've cracked several off-color jokes on several occasions about people always being sick somewhere in the world and needing doctors. It's just not for me. I didn't get into medicine for that. Initially, when I started college, that was why I had such a problem with medicine. Everyone I knew who was going into medicine was doing it because their parents did it, their parents wanted them to do it, or because it was a stable profession. At least, it seemed that way. I don't think I ever really had much of a chance to really talk to people about it. Dad was pushed into medicine by his parents. Luckily, Mom loves what she does. All my grandmother wanted from her was to be independent and have to rely on no man (I'll talk about my grandmother another day... let's just say, I come from a line of truly spectacular women... and I'm grateful for it nearly every day of my life). As I went through college, I finally went on an international medical mission trip as a volunteer. We went to Jaumave, Mexico, helped local doctors set up temporary clinics in villages for a week, and staffed those clinics. Naturally we weren't doing any diagnoses, but we were taking vital signs, testing blood sugar, and dispensing medication. It was hard. Yes, there was a communication barrier. Yes, it was hard work. But I loved it. I absolutely loved it. I remember going to bed most nights nearly shaking with emotion, because I'd never felt so needed. No matter whether the patient was there for a migraine, or for diabetes, or for an infection, no matter whether the doctors who were there could have easily seen the patient, I was needed. I think a significant part of being human and being happy with your life is feeling like you're needed by at least one person. It makes sense. To me, medicine is one of the few professions where you can be needed like that. If you're a surgeon, you change people's lives over the course of a few hours (or even less). The most beautiful sight I have ever seen in my life wasn't some scene with Nitish Bharadwaj or Brad Pitt (no matter how hormonal my ramblings can get over them). It was watching an old woman in Cambodia grinning from ear to ear after her surgery, with her eye still covered by a gauze pad, because she knew that she would be able to see again. It will be a very long time before I ever forget that. That's why I want to go into medicine. That's why I'm entirely unopposed to health care reform (among other reasons... including not being a fan of any system that is this inefficient, contributing this much to our deficit, and just being badly organized). I'm all for it. I want a system that rewards me for keeping my patients healthy and fixing the ones who are sick in a much more sustainable manner, and teaching them to keep themselves healthy. I would willingly practice medicine in a 2-room hospital somewhere in Ghana if it meant that I could be Krishna bringing Parikshit back to life, and I'm grateful for the freedom to be able to say that. *sigh* Back to Biochemistry... how I'll be able to study protein assays after watching the Prez speak I have no idea. Current Mood: thoughtful (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, September 4th, 2009
8:14 pm	JSK and life... So, little Shantanu's father remarries, and the new stepmom, as we all expect, is most assuredly bitchy. Then again, apparently the spineless father promised her that he'd send Shantanu away. Naturally, once he sees his son again, that idea doesn't seem so palatable any more. The stepmother refuses to put up with the kid, refuses to feed him, beats him for stealing butter when he gets hungry, and then, to top it all off, takes him out into the woods and just leaves him there. The poor kid gets thoroughly lost, ends up tripping and falling, screaming for his father and mother, and then finally starts yelling for Krishna to save him. Our dear blue boy, of course, starts playing his flute, and Shantanu somehow hears the music and finds his way home. We end with an absolutely sappy image of little K playing the flute and Shantanu at his feet, with an absolutely ecstatic smile on his face. Now that I think about it some more, Shantanu finding his way home by the sound of Krishna's flute is almost like a metaphor for what Krishna does in general. He isn't the type of god to just give you whatever you ask for. He helps you get whatever you ask for, on your own terms, through your own efforts. If you end up failing, he doesn't judge, because he is also a refuge. He's a brother, a son, an uncle, a father, a lover, a friend, and behind it all, that refuge. At his feet (proverbial or literal), I've always found the strength to keep pressing on, because if he never let Arjuna give up on making hard decisions, then I'm sure as hell not going to give up either. That being said, on a RL update, I finally found someone to take over my lease for my Lubbock apartment (for those of you who don't know, I initially got into Texas Tech med school, wasn't particularly thrilled about it, but got an apartment anyway since I was skeptical about my chances of getting in elsewhere, then found out a week before graduation that I got into my first choice school, UT Houston med school, so I've been hunting for a replacement all summer long). It's why I'll never entirely become an atheist, or even believe that God isn't so much a person as he is (or she is) all of the good and noble things in life. Sometimes, I'm just so lucky that I have to believe that there's a higher power somehow watching out for me. P.S. Weekend!!!!!! I'm going to Austin tomorrow to visit friends, since it's a three day weekend, and I've been looking forward to it for weeks now. I definitely need a break from school. Current Mood: happy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 3rd, 2009
11:01 pm	*sigh* We had a practice practice Anatomy practical today... Apparently I ended up studying the wrong things entirely. I got all of the bony landmarks and muscle questions, and ended up missing nearly all of the nerve questions. Of course, the fact that the pedagogues twisted things in random ways didn't help at all. Fortunately, we weren't graded on our performance. Even more fortunately, there was an Interview Social tonight at Little Woodrow's (technically so people who are interviewing can meet 1st and 2nd years in their "real" setting... I think only one interviewee showed up tonight). Had a much-needed pint of Guinness (seriously, the stuff's like chocolate... amazing) and another of Dos Equis, and managed to have some more fun with other 1st years. I think we definitely lucked out. We're a great bunch. We're all intelligent, know when to study, and are certainly capable of buckling down and doing great things when we want to, but we're also capable of having incredible amounts of fun. There are some great people here. If I ever became a patient, I would trust them to take care of me the way I would want to take care of myself. I've made plans to go to Austin this weekend, even though I occasionally feel twinges of guilt for not staying in Houston and studying. I probably won't have that many chances to visit, and there are some great people who I left behind there, who I definitely want to hang out with some more. Even if I don't end up studying as much as I could have, I'll be in a much better mental place, and that matters more. Current Mood: mellow (Comment on this)
6:55 pm	Hrmph... JSK without Krishna is very boring indeed. No amount of cutesy tell-Uddhava-cutesy-stories-about-Kanha is going to make up for the fact that Krishna himself isn't on-screen. That being said, I never realized what a little goonda Krishna was. At one point in the episode, he and his chamchas were chasing a kid down the street, holding lathis. I kid you not, it was like a little lynch mob. A very cute little lynch mob (but anyone who's read Lord of the Flies knows that kids can turn nasty really quickly). There should be some more drama in tomorrow's episode though. Apparently one of K's friends, Shantanu (seriously, who comes up with these names? What's next, a cow named Bhishma?!?!), gets knocked over by his mom in front of their house, or something like that. Current Mood: awake (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009
7:57 pm	JSK... At this point, I might as well make this an everyday thing. So, today's episode... where to begin? Ah yes, the fangirling. Boy, was there fangirling. Here are some of the highlights of the episode... - Devaki looking like she threw on every piece of jewelry she owned, while welcoming K & B back from the ashram. Can't blame her, I guess. Being in a dungeon for around 16 years probably doesn't involve much jewelry-wearing. - Vasudeva somehow magically becoming king. Either Ugrasena somehow croaked off-camera, or he decided to do the smart thing and go into early retirement. Either way... what?!?! I thought one of the reasons why Kamsa was so disliked was that he tried to make himself an absolute monarch, and the Yadavas were not used to that. I was under the impression that they were used to a titular king, who had advisers from each clan, the Vrishnis, Bhojas, and Andhakas (at least, according to K.M. Munshi). - Krishna finding out that Uddhava is going to visit him and having a "OMG Uddhava's coming here?!?!?!?!" moment. Thoroughly adorable that was. - Us finding out that Uddhava is really a bit of a self-righteous little prick. A lot like Yudhisthira, I'm assuming... guess it runs in the family *grin*. Apparently loving Krishna isn't nearly as good as accepting him as the Supreme Deity and other finicky-knowledge type things. - Krishna finding out about that prick-ness through some sort of odd telepathic conversation with Gargacharya. - Krishna deciding to cut Uddhava down to size about his devotion, by sending him to Gokul to explain things to the gopis. - Balarama showing up and asking Krishna whether he was sending Uddhava to teach the gopis, or to learn from them. (And Krishna smiling inscrutably, of course). Oh yeah, how could I forget... there was also the best guilt trip ever. Keshini shows up in Jarasandha's sabha, tells him and her brother that she has nothing but contempt for them and their swords that never even cleared their scabbards after the news of Kamsa's death, and that any other father worth his salt would have rushed over there immediately. When Sahadeva tries to calm her down, she turns on him, and asks him just where the hell he was while she was grieving in Mathura. Needless to say, he shut up after that. Jarasandha got so worked up that he declared war on all of the Yadavas, and all the while, Keshini just smiled. If Draupadi (the queen of guilt trips in the book) is anything like her, I'm going to be absolutely terrified. Thrilled, but terrified. Anyway, off to studying! Current Mood: bouncy (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 1st, 2009
7:51 pm	More JSK... Highlights: - Panchajanya swinging ineffectually at Krishna and then looking very much like a mouse confronted by a cobra... *blinkblinkblink*DEERINHEADLIGHTS*blinkblinkblink* - Krishna killing him with one blow The rest of it is pretty boring. K and B travel to Yamaloka to get Sandipani's son back. Yama fangirls over Krishna. Krishna smiles. Everyone returns to the ashram. Joyful/tearful reunion. Sandipani, his wife, and his son proceed to fangirl over Krishna. The end. The preview for tomorrow has Keshini totally guilt-tripping Jarasandha into attacking Mathura. Seriously. Kamsa would have taken over half of India if he'd listened to his wife occasionally. The woman's baller. Current Mood: tired (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 31st, 2009
7:11 pm	JSK Highlights.... Awwwwwwwwwwwww... Krishna and Sudama are freaking adorable. Saying this will probably bring the Shiv Sena down on my head, but today's episode really made me want to find out if there's Krishna-Sudama slashfic out there. It was like one of those uber-dramatic Harry/Draco fics... you know, adorably-honest Harry + a needs-to-be-convinced-that-this-isn't-entirely-stupid Draco + OMG drama!... that sort of thing. It was all Krishna and Sudama are BFF... Sudama picked out thorns from Krishna's feet!... oh wait, Sudama ate Krishna's food!... oh wait, Sudama ate some of the alms meant for the ashram and Krishna got punished!... oh wait, Krishna isn't really poor, he's actually.... a prince! DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!!!! Then, of course, there was the tear-filled departure, with a slightly sobby Krishna telling Sudama that he'll never forget him. Warms the cockles of my heart, it does. (Yeah, I know, very piratey metaphor "warming the cockles of my heart" but I've loved it ever since I read it in Dastaan-e-Amir-Hamza earlier this summer) P.S. The Panchajanya episode looks to be next. In one of the previous episodes, P visits Keshini, and tells her that if she orders him, he will gladly kill Krishna. Keshini's reply? "Sending other people to kill Krishna clearly didn't work for my husband. Why on earth would I make the same mistake?" Love.her. Who wants to bet that if she'd been in charge of killing Krishna, he would have probably come much closer to death? (As morbid as that sounds). Moral of the story... what a man can do, a woman can do better. *grin* Current Mood: busy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 27th, 2009
5:13 pm	Quick JSK Post... Highlights of today's Jai Shri Krishna episode... - Keshini (Kamsa's wife) slamming her door in Krishna's face - Krishna arriving in Sandipani's ashram, and having a mental conversation with Sandipani that went something like this: S: "Do we really need to go through this charade? I mean, you're cool and all, but enemies appear to come out of the woodwork whenever you show up." K: *beaming smile* S: "Ugh, fine." - Sudama being completely dumbstruck by Krishna, when K and Balarama try to introduce themselves - Sudama having the best answer to Krishna insisting that he and B can take care of their hut themselves. "Looks like I'll have to teach you your first lesson. You are the king, I am one of the common people (exact word that was used was "praja" which is a little difficult to translate). I will serve you, and you will have to make sure that all of my needs are met." Most ridiculously over-the-top gesture of the episode? Krishna reaching over, taking a tear from Sudama's eyes (K was trying to give him a peacock feather to symbolize their friendship... who wants to bet that Sudama's going to hold onto that until he meets Krishna again in Dwaraka, and Krishna will remember him by it), putting it in his own, and saying that from now on, all of Sudama's unhappiness will be his too. The ridiculous rudraksha-bead headdress aside, Krishna's still quite pretty. Reminds me of Munshi's Krishna sometimes... that whole, yeah-I-know-this-is-a-charade-but-I-love-playing-along thing. After watching the Ramayana, having an avatara who's aware of his own divinity and feels no need to hide it is rather refreshing. Anyway, off to studying! Which reminds me, thanks to my Developmental Anatomy class, I now know that I definitely don't want to have babies anytime soon. Keep your grabby little syncytiotrophoblast out of my uterus, thank you very much! Current Mood: busy (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 23rd, 2009
10:39 pm	Just thinking... So I started watching the NDTV Imagine version of the Ramayana a few days ago (and, predictably, got very little studying done because of it) and I just watched the last episode earlier today, and it got me to thinking... All of you who read this regularly know that I've never been a fan of Rama (to say the least). Somehow, that frightening dedication to dharma is just that... frightening. I feel more comfortable with Krishna, who's the master of bending the rules to suit his whim. Krishna is the sort of god who I can easily love. Rama... I'm not sure what to think of him right now. His banishment of Sita sets my blood to boiling... yet, somehow, this Rama, despite seeming misguided, also seemed like he was hurting himself even more. Every time he had to make a difficult decision, he ended up hurting himself more than he hurt the other person... the look on his face when he nearly ran after the chariot when Lakshmana took Sita into the forest... the look on his face when Sita entered the earth and he nearly destroyed the world to get her back... the look on his face when he had to renounce Lakshmana... Maybe I'm just a sucker for dramatic camera angles and well-placed tears. It just got to the point where I was silently pleading for him to just go to the Sarayu and just end it all. I bawled like a baby when Lakshmana left the palace with this little smile on his face and walked into the Sarayu. I've always loved Lakshmana. I mean, how can you not love the scrappy kid with the temper who's the unsung hero of the Ramayana? Someone should write a Lakshmanayana, since Lakshmana is no less a figure of great and terrible romance. Anyway, that's an idea for another day. I cried. Lakshmana had this smile... almost like the same fey smile that I imagine Abhimanyu would have had when he realized that there was no way out of the Chakravyuha. It was upsetting and heartbreaking and oddly exalting. But when Rama walked into the Sarayu, I was almost happy... well, not quite happy, more like relieved. This wasn't a gleeful oh-good-he-finally-killed-himself sort of thing... I was just happy that he wouldn't be hurting himself anymore. Which is strange. Very strange. I'm still not quite sure how I'm supposed to respond to this, since it makes me feel like I've missed something for a long time. Maybe I just never thought about things from his perspective. Listening to stories about him and reading stories about him, it often seems like these decisions that he made were the easiest things in the world. Now? I don't know what to think about a broken Rama. I don't think I'll ever quite like Rama. I don't think he's the type of person who you like. He's just somehow terrifying and exalting all at the same time. I might think a little better of him though. Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)
Friday, August 21st, 2009
10:23 pm	Of Yawns and Philosophy... So much for working hard and playing hard... I think we're all too tired to do much playing. Of course, that didn't prevent us from taking advantage of some free beer at the mixer for Baylor and UT Houston med students this afternoon. Naturally, there was a bit of a downpour, so we all crammed into this little patio in front of the library and proceeded to have ourselves a bit of a party. Got a bit tipsy on Shiner. (You would too if you'd spent the last 3+ hours dissecting a cadaver with an irritatingly difficult suboccipital triangle) Came home, contemplated partying, and instead decided to catch up on the episodes of Jai Shri Krishna that I missed this week. As geeky as it is, I think it was a great way to end the week. Funnily enough, it made me think a bit too. This Krishna occasionally sounds a bit pedantic, especially when he launches into a random lecture on things like love and relationships, but he's spot-on. In yesterday's episode, he was telling Balarama that yes, he would end up hurting people by killing Kamsa (Kamsa's wife had visited him in the middle of the night, asking him to be a bit merciful... yeah, I know I know, Kamsa's supposed to have 2 wives and they're both supposed to hate Krishna, but hang in with me here) and that this is just the beginning. He is going to be the cause of the Mahabharata war, where family fights family and relationships don't mean anything, and that what this all means is that no relationship is higher than dharma. I think that's absolutely true. It's not that I want relationships to be something cold and rational, calculated to give you the best advantage. I just think that the ideal relationship is best described by a line from Oliver Stone's Alexander (yeah, cheesy, but bear with me here), talking about Alexander himself, "... around him we were greater than ourselves." Absolutely true. In the ideal relationship you are greater than you would be otherwise. In a not-so-ideal relationship, you are completely diminished. No matter how close you are to a person, it is your responsibility to examine the relationship and see where it is going and see what the other person is doing. Just because you love a person, you cannot support them in adharma. Of course, you have to be in a position where you can make that choice. But that's a discussion for another day. *sigh* Now the right thing for me to do would be to crack open a Biochem textbook or something and start studying, since clearly no partying is to be had tonight, but I might decide to indulge in my schmoopy side and find more Krishna videos. P.S. As impressed as I am with this Krishna, I have to say, the near-constant raising of one eyebrow does not a deity make. If you do it occasionally, it makes you look thoughtful, but if you do it too often, you end up looking like John Abraham trying to be sensitive in Dostana (in other words, awwwwwwkward). Current Mood: tired (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 17th, 2009
7:10 pm	That went surprisingly well... My 1st day of med school went surprisingly well. Sure, my laptop decided to throw a temper tantrum and not charge when I plugged it into an outlet in class, but it works now, which means that I just have to get to class earlier to find a better outlet. So far it looks like most of my classes will be pretty interesting, the people and the professors are pretty interesting, and it's a great environment. It's the sort of environment that pushes you to succeed even when you're having a lazy moment. I just got back from spending 1.5 hours at the Rec Center, doing my old 5-miles-on-the-elliptical and a half-hour of weights routine... and I'm loving it... and I'm definitely going to keep doing it (if not every day, then at least every other day). Those endorphins are feeling pretty damn good. Current Mood: exhausted (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 16th, 2009
10:16 pm	Bad wigs.... Remember what I said about bad wigs? Scratch that. After some more YouTube hunting, I found this... ( From NB's Dashavatar... ) Current Mood: awake (Comment on this)
12:47 pm	If only I had the time... Even though I haven't particularly been going through much KHMK withdrawal, I did think it would be nice if I found something new. No, I'm not back to liveblogging things in a frenzy of hormonal delight... it's not that I'm jaded, I just don't have that much time for it anymore. I do have time to go exploring on the interwebs, and I found Jai Shri Krishna, which is airing on the Colors channel, and it's made by the new generation of Sagars (the previous generation made that famous Ramayana serial, and another Jai Shri Krishna serial, if I'm not mistaken). If the first version was anything to go by, I think this one will be fairly good. How do I know that? Well, for one thing, Krishna didn't jump from 5 to 18. Friday's episode was Krishna finding out about his true parentage and leaving for Mathura. The Sagars cast a kid who actually looks like he's about 15 or 16... which is most likely the age that Krishna was when he left for Mathura. Yashoda is of course suitably bejewelled, made up, and weepy, and thankfully this one isn't as annoying as the last one was (no high-pitched screeching... just an attempted guilt-trip that, of course, failed). My biggest pet peeve with it all? The mullet wigs. *sigh* Thankfully Krishna himself doesn't have one (and actually has non-wig-looking curly hair!) but during the flashbacks, toddler Balarama and Nanda have the worst wigs ever. Worse than the worst of the B.R. Chopra wigs (you know the ones.... the ones that looked like badly-shaped brillo pads sticking out from under the crowns). Ah well, I guess I can't have everything. P.S. Med school starts tomorrow... so yes, I'm definitely excited and a little terrified, and definitely enjoying my last day of freedom. P.P.S. Krishna makes an excellent point about love. It's a gift... a blessing... a sacred bond. When you truly love a person, you give them that love like a gift, without expecting anything in return. If the other person loves you in return, then that is wonderful, but I don't think that you should expect them to do that. That's where love turns to bitterness. Perhaps I learned it from one too many unrequited crushes, but it's so much easier on you if you don't expect something in return. If you love a person, then you love them. You help them do what they need to do and you help them grow into the best person they can be. You don't expect that of them simply because you love them. I think the same thing applies to parents. I don't think you should necessarily expect certain things of your child because you love them. Expect achievement, certainly, but expect it because you want your child to grow into their full potential... don't expect it as a means of returning the love that you gave them. That just cheapens the entire relationship. I think relationships in general would be much more peaceful if we can learn to be a little more selfless when it comes to love. Current Mood: cheerful (7 Comments |Comment on this)